So, I'm leading worship on Thursday morning. Yep. Super excited and yet incredibly nervous. I get nervous.......I can't help it. But even more ridiculous than the fact that I'm fidgety-- the theme.
Last Monday morning, Planning Center......I totally pouted. I'm a pouter sometimes when I feel like the Lord just totally forgot about me. The theme for this week's worship is "Responsibility- Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually." I'm just going to be honest, my first reaction:
".....what....."
I seriously thought it was so lame. I couldn't understand how I would pull a worship set from that kind of a theme, how I would relate, what I would focus on specifically, you know... So there I was. Pouting. And it took me a few days to understand how perfect this was for me- how beautifully put together this was by the One who knows me inside and out. I've been dealing with a lot of internal struggles lately, just weeding things out with the Lord and walking through some valleys that I created myself. And it occurred to me a few days after I finally got some songs into the set, that I hadn't been responsible with my relationship with the Lord. And it was perfect. A dark place I had just left was now being used to create a moment of worship in which I could totally relate and understand.
Hello.
So, all that to say, I totally resisted in the beginning and let my pride overcome what I thought the Lord was capable of. Nothing happens on accident, nothing is coincidence. He looks at my heart, He sees me. And He knows even better than I do what I need, what I think, where I'm at, and how the things I've experienced in my life can be used for His glory. It's so toxic for us when we hold onto the things that we think we can control, or think we know better than the God of the universe, when all we need to do is open clenched fists and let Him teach us, mold us, shape us, and love us.
That. Simple.
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."
Isaiah 43:2
~Laramie
girl i love how you are using the title of your blog so literally.. your honesty is so encouraging and I am sooooo excited for you to lead! Don't be nervous just allow the Lord to use you ;) The awesome thing is that God is not dependent on us so as long as we enter into a time with open hearts and an excitement to lift him up he will be pleased! :)
ReplyDeleteHa! I loved this post. I think it's amazing how God meets us exactly where we are. In my daily walk this happens, but a lot of time I find it more so in my worship leading. God totally just slaps me in the face with a theme for a Sunday service, or a time of worship. Its incredibly humbling and transformative, but I need to remember to remain open even after these things occur. I can get over excited about the fact that it aligns perfectly with where i'm at, but let the growth that can occur slip away...
ReplyDeleteHolding on to those toxic things... just like forcing ourselves to hold a hand to the stove burners, convinced that we've "got this". It was great watching you let go of some of that stuff over the past couple days and especially this morning. Wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteLaramie, you are a bright spot on the radar of daily life. Thanks for posting a link to your blog.
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